An other dane pair o' dice

Long damn day! Good God! NEEO is the name of the game right now. That's New Engineering Employee Orientation and it's a lot. I'm sorry to report that I didn't raise the bar on coffee today. In fact, I only had 2 cups. I'm a shadow of my former self. I'm also approaching delirious, because 5AM today is a lot farther away than 5AM tomorrow.. That means it's almost my bedtime.

In other news, after work today Hobbsie, Cream, and I went and got some sushi after work, which was fucking d-lish. I was able to keep it under 25 dollars too, which is unheard of. There was nobody in the whole place either so we had the whole staff gathered around us at the sushi bar for a nice little chat. Good times. Also, I got my EZ Pass today, thank Christ. Also, the bathroom closest to my classrooms has been repaired so I no longer have to risk shitting my pants while I climb stairs in a mad dash for the bowl.

Hmm.. What else happened today.. Oh, it got hot enough in my car today that my cell phone shut itself off and my iPod almost burned my hand. So yea, gonna be keeping them somewhere cooler from now on. On a good note, the heat basically toasted the poptarts I left in the center console, so that kicked ass.

Also, almost every fucking person in this co-op is a smoker. Fuckin' eh right? Just when you think the coffin nails are going out of style.

I got home around 7, watched a Ramones documentary on Sundance, lifted some weights, took a shower, then played guitar. You can squeeze a lot of stuff into 4 hours when you have to. It'll be nice when I can afford to put myself closer to work so I can get an extra hour or so in there too. But I guess that's about it really. If any of that didn't make sense, don't worry. If it did make sense, worry.

Oh, also -

HA!

Go to Google, type in "French military victories" and click "I'm Feeling Lucky". HA!

Dis n' dat n' dat' dis...

**UPDATE**: CLOSE fuckin' call today guys. I watched the first episode of ANOTHER season of Tyra's self-image raping show from hell but as it was about to end Mom walked through and said "I remember this one, that girls voice is so annoying but she totally wins." PHEW! I went outside instead.

I started my new job at the NGSB-NN yard on Thursday. Fun fact: the yard uses over 63,000 acronyms. Looking forward to referencing that list. Thursday was pretty boring overall, so that was kinda eh... But I really enjoyed Friday. That's the day when my classes start and I got to hear all kinds of weird stories from my teachers. Those guys are a trip. Also, 3 words; unlimited, free, coffee. I was buzzin' by 9. By the time we got our lunch at 11:30 I was famished, so I hit it out to the food court (the NG building is attached the New Market Mall) and was lucky enough to chance upon a decent little sushi shop. So I indulged. As I beat a path back to the classrooms (which have neat little security doors that react to your ID badge thingy to unlock), I noticed a smell. To be quite honest, it smelled like raw shit. Well, my nose is nothing if not keen. It was raw shit. We were evacuated somewhere around 1:00 and they called a freakin' air chemist in to test the atmosphere. It was all clear, (workers fixing the bathrooms hit a pipe they shouldn't have) so we walked back into the (cl)ass-room and suffered through another 3 hours o' stank. Needless to say, I had more coffee.

Speaking of raw shit, for some odd reason everybody I know in the co-op had amazingly bad gas that same day. We all met up in the parking lot and basically came clean simultaneously. We actually all were mentally pointing fingers when we smelled the septic stink earlier on. We proceeded to hang out in the parking lot and trade anecdotes about our day and appreciate flatulence for a good 30 minutes. Kinda made me miss the fellas.

Speaking of the fellas, what's up fellas?

Revelation!

I understand why suicide rates are higher among the unemployed. Got it. Fuckin' nailed it, actually. In fact, here's a picture:
Some networks it would seem, while the rest of the world is off to work, punish the unemployed with marathon runs of dopamine-inducing failfests. For the last three days, I've watched almost the entire length of three seasons of ANTM (a.k.a. America's Next Top Model).

For those not privy, this is the show in which Tyra Banks, along with several other equally qualified judgers (not a typo) systematically eliminate the weak and sickly gazelles from the herd of would-be supermodels in order to crown the last woman standing as "top model." Jesus Christ, I was lucky enough to make it through the intro which is a clip fest of Tyra Banks modeling to the beat of a song she made just for the show... The lyrics to that song I should mention are just < skank > You wanna be on.. Top? < /skank >... Over and over.. With house music..

I was never able to make it. I have no idea who wins any of the seasons I watched. And I'm genuinely bummed about that. That is where I get scared. Somehow this combination of things which should not appeal to me, or anybody really, was presented to me in a manner that caused me to become emotionally invested in it. I cared. I frequently found myself mouthing phrases like "Jade, you bitch!" or "Joanie, totally Joanie.." I had all the names down within 3 episodes (Note: read as 3 hours). I don't remember now why I even began writing this. I think I was angry at Tyra Banks, but now I'm just angry that I don't know who won. I guess that's why Wikipedia is for.. Harmony and balance restored.. At least until Tyra Bank's tries to change the world again.. LIFE LESSON?

Oh man, also!

Brawl is goooooooood....

Gotta (re)Start Somewhere!

I don't want to let my little blog die... So I'm gonna skeeze some roflcats off the net and post them. Hey, it's better than nothing!

R
O
F
L

In regards to time off...

FUCK some time off man...

Help...

I am having a vision... 20 years from now... Damnit... Somebody please give me something fun to do this next week when my friends and family are all out of town... I don't look good in a carpel-tunnel brace... (sigh)

EDIT:
BONUS ROFL CAT!!!

In regards to Friday and Saturday night, respectively..

"FUCK YOU! EAT MY TITS!"

Compulsive posting

I don't even need an excuse at this point. Look at these!

Hands down, best Super Bowl...

One word --

Eventful day thus far

Me and Natey hung out earlier.. We wrote a couple of spastic songs, tentatively titled Burlap and P.S.D. We've got it set up so we kinda trade off playing guitar and drums and I guess whoever is on guitar is gonna be singing.. So yea, we'll see how that pans out. Either way, fun afternoon.

So yea, I'm totally gonna get ill off some chili in about a minute. Also crunk. That'll be a time. But before I forget, check this shit out. This guy wants to do one drawing a day, every day, for a year... But so far all he does is draw Superman shit, Jesus fish, Jesus fish that look like Superman logos, Americana pieces, and assorted crosses and other religious symbols... I mean maybe he should just do like one drawing a week and try to be a little more original... Also it's not really a good idea to show that you can read and write in Kryptonian.. I mean, I have a pretty good idea of what this guy looks like:
No dude, stop.

Check it out fellas!

What would you say if I showed you something that looked like this..?


You'd probably say whoa dude, that's pretty bad-ass right? Dude you don't even know. What if I told you that that shit was actually...


The most bad ass shower curtain possible. Look out fellas, this is the beginning of a new chapter. More pics later!

CATARIIIIIIIIINAAAAA.....

I don't know this child at all, but I want severe pain to be visited on him. Not really, but I mean like really? Really? Parenting is the weirdest thing in the world. You can sit in Sal's Pizza and easily observe every parenting style. Lackadaisical, authoritarian, et al. Some people just really don't give a fuck. I mean, you know your kid is pissing everybody off, shut them up, or I'm gonna hold them by their feet and dip them in the spaghetti sauce.

These last three weekends at work have pretty much blown. I guess the more I get caught in a shitty night the more I'll appreciate the nice steady paced nights. At least I got to eat Alex's left-over sesame chicken before things went nuts... Even though the unsettling "calm-before-the-storm" vibe was ever present. But yeah, that's work.

I'm pretty sure sesame chicken is the best Chinese food available. It's crunchy and chewy like that thing Taco Bell has, but it's Chinese food. I dunno where I'm going with this.

Gratitude diaries aren't dykey, I guess... I don't think I could really get away with keeping one. At least not as long as it was still called a gratitude diary. I'd just have to write "shit I like" and then put a bulleted list.

So yea, here's some shit I like, y'know. Just 'cause...

1. Chris Martin
2. The word melancholy.
3. Not being the one getting bare-assed into next week.
4. Baby's breath accented with roses.
5. How "The Scientist" by Coldplay changed my life at work.
6. "Hindsight is 20/20"
7. Coldplay
8. "Catariiiiinaaaaaaaaaa!!"
9. NOT!
10.